What & Why:
After I downloaded the Vine app, I was soon hooked. Vine is essentially the Instagram of short videos: now you can share a taste of the world around you- in motion.
As a filmmaker, my brain instantly went berserk. Can you tell a story in 6 seconds? What else can I do with this thing? Experiencing so many people's realities simultaneously made me feel like I'm part of something bigger than myself... Ok, getting philosophical now, but all this to say that I think this has the potential to be something incredibly beautiful. I can't wait to see what art and creativity will come out of Vine.
From that, I thought of something: the Vine a Day Challenge. I wrote a list of ideas for each day in June, and every day you upload a new Vine inspired by each prompt.
If, for example, June 1's prompt is "Summertime", I can record the beach, or a sprinkler going off, someone who's tanning or a snippet of Will Smith's song. Essentially, every prompt is to be interpreted in whatever way you wish... Let your creativity rule.
I'd done something similar with pictures before on Instagram, thanks to the genius FatMumSlim; but the fact that Vine allows us to have video and audio now seems to me like this could be truly amazing.
In a way, it'll be creating this massive, collective video project... What do you guys think? Are you up for the challenge?
We'll start on Saturday June 1st, using the hashtags #VineADayChallenge and #VineADayJune. Find me on Vine to check mine's out too: Giloria; and comment on my Vine post so I can follow you as well.
Happy Vining!
G.
What & Why:
A few days ago I downloaded the Vine app, and was soon hooked. Vine is essentially the Instagram of short videos: now you can share a taste of the world around you- in motion.
As a filmmaker, my brain instantly went berserk. Can you tell a story in 6 seconds? What else can I do with this thing? Even just browsing through different tags like #morning, and experiencing so many people's realities simultaneously, made me feel like I'm part of something bigger than myself... Ok, getting philosophical now, but all this to say that I think this has the potential to be something incredibly beautiful. I can't wait to see what art and creativity will come out of Vine.
From that, I thought of something: the Vine a Day Challenge. I wrote a list of ideas for each day in February, and every day you upload a new Vine inspired by each prompt.
If, for example, Feb. 1's prompt is "Something Blue", I can record the sky, or blue M&Ms, the blue water at the beach, or someone who's sad. Essentially, every prompt is to be interpreted in whatever way you wish... Let your creativity rule.
I'd done something similar with pictures before on Instagram, thanks to the genius FatMumSlim; but the fact that Vine allows us to have video and audio now seems to me like this could be truly amazing.
In a way, it'll be creating this massive, collective video project... What do you guys think? Are you up for the challenge?
We'll start on Feb. 1, using the hashtags #VineADayChallenge and #VineADayFebruary. Find me on Vine to check mine's out too: Giloria; and comment on my Vine post so I can follow you as well.
More deets to follow, check back here soon!
Happy Vining!
G.
It's a warm, end-of-summer night in the South Bronx. I've just left my office and I'm thrown into a world that's completely different from the modern, minimalistic work environment I was just in. Everything out here is a punch to your senses: the smell of the East/ Harlem River, the sounds of the sluggish garbage trucks entering their depot, the emptiness and loneliness of what's mainly an industrial setting.
I approach the corner to wait for the traffic light to change. Through the corner of my eye I see a bulky figure coming towards where I stand. I turn around so I can see his face. He's a tall and muscular black man in his late 20s. He smiles. "Don't be scared. I see you turning around, probably thinking, 'Who's this big moreno'," he says in Spanish with a thick Puertorican accent. I smile back. "You know how it is. I'm a young woman walking by herself. I have to be careful and look around". He nods and sighs. "Yeah. Of course. You can never be too careful."
The light changes and we begin to walk. In an attempt to make small talk, I ask, "So, where are you coming from?" "I just left the Parole office."
"Oh. I work on the building right above it," I say, matter-of-factly. It's 7:30pm on a Thursday. "So they're open 'til now? That's late."
"I went there straight from work. That's good for people like me that are working, that way I don't have to miss a shift. They like that, when you're working. I've been doing good, passing my tests and shit. The only thing the officer's always warning me about this woman I'm seeing." He speaks with eyes fixed on his phone screen, hardly ever meeting my eyes.
"Wow. They even tell you who not to date? That's a bit much," I say, surprised.
"It's not like that. All it takes is for a woman to call and say you've hit her. They'll look for you, drag you like a dog, and put you in holding; all without any evidence. That's the way it works."
He looks up at me; I can see sorrow in his eyes. "If someone knows you're in Parole and they want to hurt you, they know exactly what they have to do."
When looking at him for the first time, the last adjective I would've picked to describe him would've been "vulnerable".
Every day, Ana shows up on my door wearing a new wig. It's become this tiny thing that I look forward to in the morning- trying to guess what hairstyle she'll sport next.
What's behind her decision of what hair to wear? Is it inspired by someone she spotted on the subway? Maybe her favorite tenelovela character wore the hairstyle in a particularly important scene? Or perhaps being in the "Land of the Free" means you can even afford to buy a whole new hair texture, color, style; and she relishes on her newfound ability to choose.
Even though I've always frowned upon these over-the-top artificial additions to one's body for the sake of beauty, I kind of envy Ana in that sense. She has the ability to slip into a different skin with every hairstyle she chooses; she gets to bring out all these different layers within herself.
When she wears her brunette Kate Gosselin short 'do she becomes feistier, sassier than her regular self. With the long blonde tresses she's suddenly more delicate, and won't be willing to do the more difficult and uncomfortable tasks that her job requires.
Oddly enough, my biggest question is what's under the wig? What, and who could Ana be hiding under her synthetic locks? I wonder what it would be like to to open up the door one morning and find Ana wearing her natural hair. I wonder who she'll be when she's being herself.
I thought something major would happen when I turned 23. It was the final countdown, the final stretch to us. Maybe, just maybe, this had all been one of your games- the longest, and cruelest of them all. You'd admit that you'd known all along that what we shared, that the person you were with me was the best side of you. That you'd admit that no one would ever have you in the way I did.
But then I realize, once more, that I never had you. That all I had were the memories I constructed in my mind- the ones I still have a hard time discerning whether they are real or made up. Now were strangers, two people who once used to know each other.
Two people that are now bound to reunite once every 10 years by accident, in the beverage aisle of a supermarket, after-hours. We'll see each other and see what time has done to us, how the debris of years past has hidden the faces we once thought as familiar. We'll say we'll get together, we should all get together; even though we know we never will. Our next meeting will be another fateful accident.
I thought it would all be different when I turned 23. That you showing me the song by Jimmy Eat World was all carefully planned, that all the waiting till I was 23 would just make our story even better. That you'd say the words right out the song, maybe not holding a boombox over your head, but in an equally cheesy and romantic way that I'd retell ad nauseam to anyone who'd listen.
But I turned 23. And nothing happened.
Another month, another DIY!
The inspiration for this particular project was Ryan Gosling's jacket in "Drive".
Phoenixes have always been my favorite mythical creatures; the ideas of rebirth and immortality being deeply embedded in my personal spiritual beliefs and also, my dreams (wow, I went deep there for a second, didn't I?). For this reason I chose to draw a Phoenix as the image in my jacket; that, and the fact that I thought that the safety pins could translate very well into the shape and texture of the feathers. So you want to make your own jacket? Here's what you'll need.
Materials used:
- 2 packs of gold safety pins - The packs I bought brought 4 different sizes of pins (these are a lot better because you can play with the different sizes and widths of the pins to create different textures; each pack brought 175 pins, but I ended up using roughly 1 and a half packs).
- Jacket/Shirt/Skirt - Whatever it is you want to work on. Just make sure the fabric is heavy enough to support the weight of the pins.
- Small pillow/cushion - I used it to put my jacket on it, to keep the fabric stretched and to make it easier to work on the back of the jacket.
- Colored wooden pencil - To trace the design onto the fabric.
- (optional) Masking Tape/ Thimble - To make sure you won't poke your fingers with the pins, you can wrap masking tape on your index finger and thumb. If you can be careful enough, then you can overlook this.
This is a very crappy picture, but it's what the jacket looked like before:
Step 1: Separate the different sizes of pins. The packs I bought brought 4 different sizes, but they were all mixed together. I separated them and saved them in ziplock bags. They range in size from 0 being the smallest, to 3 being the biggest.
Step 2: Put the jacket "on" your cushion. For mine, I buttoned it on so the fabric in the back would be as extended as possible.
Step 3: Using the colored pencil, draw the shape of the image you want onto the fabric.
This is the jacket after I was done tracing it.
Step 4: Start outlining the outside shape with the pins before starting to work on the wings.
When pinning onto the fabric, try not to grab too much or too little fabric into the pin- meaning the fabric should fit comfortably in the pin without creating tension and without changing the shape of your garment. Smexy Dead at Instructables has a great picture explaining this on her own tutorial. Also, be careful not to latch the pins onto the cushion: keep a hand inside the jacket to help guide the pins and make sure they don't get stuck on the pillow.
Step 5: Pin the wings. Play around with the different sizes of pins, the angles you can pin in, and the spaces left in between to create the shapes. Here's a closeup on the top of one of the wings and on the head of the Phoenix so you can get a better picture.
Step 6: Strut your stuff and show off your creation! This is an awesome project and it looks great on!
As for care instructions, I'd suggest spot cleaning rather than washing normally; but I read that it is possible to wash these in the machine if done on the "delicate" cycle. Be very, very careful if you put this in the dryer: metal gets extremely hot and you could get hurt.
Other than that, this is a very cheap project and also easy to make. All in all, it took me about 4 hours to finish it from start to finish (put some Pandora on, and you'll be done before you notice it :P).
I'll upload pictures of me wearing the jacket when I take it out for a spin. If any of you use this tutorial as inspiration to create your own, please post a picture in the comments, I'd love to see you give this your own spin!
Until the next DIY adventure!
The snow fell softly, forming a mound on top of the air conditioner outside the window. Music and laughter filled the air- and one too many drinks explained the hilariously uncoordinated dance moves. She stood, escaping from the couch that threatened to sink her in; slipping out to the kitchen to get another drink. She was perhaps the single sober person in the soiree, she realized as she poured excess ice on her cranberry juice to try and pretend it had vodka in it. He entered the room behind her and opened the fridge, reaching for another beer. She smiled, amused.
"To hell with carbs during holiday season?"
"My mentality right now is in a 'fuck it all' mode, you guessed correctly", he replied with a sad smile. He lifted the can and tapped it against her plastic cup; but before she could take the mandatory sip of cheer, he looked at her and squinted slightly.
"What?", she asked, trying to seem inconspicuous.
Quickly blowing through her cover, he took her cup and smelled its contents.
"Cranberry juice, seriously?"
Unashamed, she smiled in reply. "I'm the, uh... Designated driver".
"You do realize nobody drives in New York, right?"
"I guess that makes me the Designated walker, then"
"That's more like it".
They shared a quiet and awkward smile; but soon her sober impatience made her be the first one to bolt.
In the best wallflower fashion, she avoided the crowd and witnessed, amused, the drunken, disorderly conduct of her friends. It was as if their boldness was directly proportional to the alcohol level in their blood. She liked to think she was capable to be bold enough without the alcohol, but she knew it wasn't so. Still, it was something she hadn't picked up, and it seemed the appropriate time for it had passed already, like with so many other things.
She felt his eyes fixed on her, impossible to pretend it was casual. Soon their gaze became a full-on staring contest: eyes fixed on each others, the intensity increasing with each passing second. With a smile, she lowered her gaze, admitting defeat. He smiled back, triumphant.
As she slipped back into the kitchen for some chips, he followed her in.
"Another beer, is it?"
He marched up to the fridge, but his fumbling motion made him stumble.
"Whoa", she said, quickly running to his aid. She helped him up and steadied him. "I guess this is when the Designated walker position comes into effect. Lemme take you home".
"I never took you for the type to take advantage of drunk people", he said with a smirk, but took her shoulders to be steadied.
They exited the apartment while their friends yelled suggestively. She insisted she was walking him home and coming back; but her words were drowned by the wolf whistles.
Nothing prepared them for the cold outside- it was like being slapped in the face. She took the approach of "ripping off the band-aid", and jumped outside without giving it much thought. She lifted her head to face the sky, the snowflakes melting in contact with her skin.
"This is the only time I enjoy the snow. Pre-black slush; pre-fuck up your commute in the morning... It's even pretty now". She snuggled into her peacoat and kicked the snow around.
He put his hands on his pockets and shook his head. "Jesus. I had no idea you could be sobered up by freezing temperatures. Duly noted". She smiled and with a big sigh filled up the air with smoke. He pretended to hold a cigarette and blew out warm air, the fumes dancing in the wind. They smiled and started walking.
The dangling of keys was the only sound heard inside the dark apartment. The door swung open and they both hurried inside the warm, cozy space. She rubbed her hands together and blew warm air into them, while he hurried to the heater.
"This is a lot better than that, come here", he said while his hands hovered over the heater.
A bit skeptical, she put her things down and sat next to him in front of the tiny heater. The warmth tingled her skin, feeling both painful and deliciously good at the same time. She looked up at him, he smiled.
"Look at how cold my hands were", he said, placing his hand on her cheek. The sharp pang of iciness made her turn her face, but he left his hand against her skin. Their eyes met; and she knew it was time to prove if her alcohol-deprived body was in fact bold enough. She moved forward and their lips met, the skin curiously warm in spite of the temperature. Waves of warmth traveled down her whole body. They had both found a better remedy for warming up; almost borrowing each other's air with each breath, dying suddenly and coming back to life all in one instant.
The same alcohol depravation that had made her go for the kiss was what made her stop it. "I have to go back".
"Please stay", he whispered; like he really meant it.
She looked at his eyes; they gleamed with the glassiness of inebriation. She smiled, sadly. "Not tonight. I was just the designated walker".
She took one last look at him and smiled. She opened the door, and was released into the bowels of the city once again.
She had everything she had ever wanted. She called the City of Lights her home; pen and paper earned her a living; sunlight flooded her apartment and she smiled just because.
Mornings started with her computer, and in this one a Facebook status caught her eye: "(Blank) is now married to (Blank)". A picture of a beaming couple accompanied the post, and right then she learned that an image is really worth more than a thousand words.
One image and there was no more sunlight. One image and she was back to that room, back to that moment that could've changed everything.
She shook away the images of what could've been, reminding herself she was now an adult. She took a deep breath, "liked" the picture, wrote the standard congratulatory message and well wishes.
She closed the laptop, and tried to ignore how the sunlight didn't shine the same anymore.
My DIY adventures continue, and this time the flaming queen inside of me and my undying love for glitter were the inspiration for these babies. At the bottom you'll find the tutorial I based these off of, but I'll give the step by step instructions I followed as well.
Materials used:
- Mod Podge Gloss Lustre 4 Oz. - Mod Podge is an awesome glue + sealer + finish. It makes the glitter stick while it gives it a shiny and glossy finish.
- Glitter - I used 2 main color bottles: purple and a medley of all colors. Since I purchased a case that had 5 other colors, I also splashed a bit of white, green, and silver as well. Keep in mind you can use any glitter you can find, but the results will be a lot better if you get the finer glitter flakes instead of thicker ones.
- Sand paper / Nail Files - It's good to polish the surface of the shoe before you apply the Mod Podge. Sand paper would be the best thing to use, but since I didn't have any at home I used 2 big nail files instead, and they did the trick.
- Masking Tape - Since I was just painting selected areas of my boots, I used the masking tape to cover the areas I didn't want to be painted (including the heels).
- Grocery Plastic Bags - You'll use them to stuff them in your shoes so no glitter gets inside them, also this helps keep them stiff while you're putting on the Mod Podge.
- Medium-sized Paint Brush
- Small container - This is where you'll mix the glitter and the glue, so pick a container that's disposable. If you can't find a disposable one, you can use a small Tupperware container and line it with aluminum foil so the glue mix doesn't get in contact with the container.
- Newspaper - To line your work area: working with glitter can get messy, so you don't want to ruin your work surface.
- Old Shoes - I used these Cowboy Boots I had stored in my closet, but you can use any shoe you want to renew (flats, heels, sandals, boots, etc). The only thing it needs is to be faux leather, patent, or any surface that's smooth. I don't know how well this would work on cloth.
- (Optional) Plastic gloves - If you want to be extra careful in preventing any glue or glitter of getting in your hands. I used mine at the beginning but as I went along I realized I didn't really need them; it's your choice.
- (Optional) X-acto Knife - To help remove any masking tape that could get stuck on the shoes once you are finished with the project.
This the "before" picture, the shoes before they were "glitterized" :P. They're some boots I bought at Rainbow in clearance for $7 bucks. I'd used them sometimes but I figured they'd really pop if they were all shiny.
Step 1: After lining your work area with the newspapers, use the sand paper (or in my case, the nail files) to file through the entire surface you're covering with glitter. This helps the glue stick better.
Step 2: Using the masking tape, line the parts you want to protect from the glitter. In my case, I covered the soles and heels, and the leathery part that I wanted to stay caramel colored.
Step 3: In your container, pour the glitter you want to use (if it's two different colors pour them and mix both colors together first). Next, pour the Mod Podge into the glitter and mix the glue and glitter together. In my case I poured a little less than half the 4 Oz. bottle and mixed it together, and then kept pouring as much as necessary.Next, using your paint brush, spread the Glitter/Mod Podge mix onto your shoes. Try to do it in even, thin layers instead of clumping the glitter on- this will make the final result so much better. After you've applied the first coat, let dry for at least 30 min., and then proceed to apply as many coats as you wish (always letting each coat dry for at least 30 min.). I applied 2 coats on my first day, then let them dry overnight, and proceeded to paint another coat then day after. After that coat dried, I checked all over which places needed an extra touch and brushed the mix onto those. Keep in mind that when applied the Mod Podge has a whitish color, but it dries clear.
When my final glitter layer was dry, I also applied an extra layer of plain Mod Podge, to make sure the glitter would stick and that the boots would be extra glossy.
These are the tips once they were done- super shiny!
I also painted the upper edge of the boots.
Here they are! In all their glittery glory!
Here are the tutorials I based these off of- both are awesome Style and DIY blogs, so also check out their other entries!: Syl and Sam: Tutorial Inspired by Glitter Litas and Pixie in Pumps: Glitter Shoes
If you make your own using this guide, make sure to show off your creation by posting a pic on the comments! Happy creating! :)
Since I posted my latest DIY creation (I made my own sandals), I figured I'd show off some of my past projects as well :P
This one is one of my personal favorites, a purse made entirely out of Duct Tape! I love working with duct tape, you can do so many things with it and it's really strong yet flexible. For this project I created stripes of gray and red duct tape and wove them together to create this pattern. After it was more a matter of bending the woven mat into the shape of the bag, adding the support for the sides, and the strap.
For the interior I made a little pocket to hold my cellphone and keys. I finished it off with some velcro strips to close it.
It took me about 2 days to finish it; lots of work but so worth it! It's about 4 months old now and it still looks just as cool.
Below are two pics of what was my first Duct Tape project: a clutch-type wallet. Considering the fact I used this every day it was really durable: it lasted me about 5 months! (Remember it was made 100% out of duct tape).
There's no tutorial for the wallet I created because I mixed a bunch of tricks from different tutorials I saw online, but there's tons of tutorials on how to create a men's folded wallet out of duct tape, just Google 'em.
I've always been a devotee of DIY (Do It Yourself) and Crafts projects. I love creating things: the therapeutic feeling of the process, the sense of using your hands as the incredible tools they were meant to be, the satisfaction of having a tangible product of your work...! The creations you get to wear are specially cool because not only are they unique, but they also make great conversation starters.
This project is the most recent one I've created: making my own Fabric Sandals. They look funky and the best part is they were really easy to make. I used the base off of an old pair of flip flops I had, some fabric out of a colorful kids shirt I bought in a thrift store for $0.50 cents, and waterproof glue to seal it off.
Want to make your own pair? Here's the tutorial I based mine off of: Etsy - How-Tuesday
If you create your own, leave a picture in the comments so I can see them! :)
Being the huge Twitter fan I am, I was shocked to find out that the microblogging platform isn't allowed in China. I thought it would be cool to keep track of all the little things I would tweet about, and then compile them into a big entry, showing all the things I learned while in the magnificent Shanghai.
- Shanghai is a HUGE city. Must be more than 5 times the size of New York.
- Clothes are left out to dry outside the windows.
- Architecture wise, Shanghai is an incredible sight to behold. Futuristic + gravity defying skyscrapers.
- 1 hour Chinese foot and back massage for 15 dollars, including tip. #Winning
- Beds are made from granite. Not really, but it feels that way- they're super firm. It's like sleeping on a chopping block.
- Motorcycles drive on the sidewalk, and you have to be very careful not to get hit by one.
- Eating with chopsticks is giving me carpal tunnel, but by God I'll master this by the time I get to NYC! (This was written on our first day there. By now, I'm a master of the chopsticks. Mission Accomplished, past Gloria!)
- Shanghai grows upward: all buildings are at least 10 stories, made to accommodate their huge population.
- Drivers wear white gloves
- When an actor plays dead in China, they give them a red envelope with some money inside of it for good luck
- Pork is a food group in China
- Shanghai is the true city of lights: all buildings have colored light outlines or some sort of special lighting set up- even residential buildings. Imagine Times Square, but if instead of being in just one corner, it spanned throughout the whole city. Yep, that massive.
- Black + Latino people are so rare in China that people literally went up to us to take pictures. I should've gotten a shirt that said "I'm huge in China", and I wouldn't be lying :P
- China is a shoe fetishist's dream. Funky, colorful designs, and dirt cheap! 4-5 dollars a pair.
- For all the things the Chinese have invented, it shocks me they haven't mastered refrigeration. To find a cold drink is a miracle. Even though they claim that cold beverages are bad for your digestion (which is true)... I don't care! It's hot as hell and all I want is an ice cold Coke
- The Shanghai heat is incomparable to anything else I've ever experienced, and take into consideration I'm from the Caribbean. The hottest day in Santo Domingo feels like a winter breeze when compared to Shanghai's heat.
- This is the first time I've travelled to a place where I had no idea about the language, and it couldn't have felt better. It felt liberating not speaking the same language, and it proves that that's the only barrier standing in our way: all around the world we're human, and we feel the same way; no matter where we come from.
New York Summer 2011 To Do List
Go to the METGo to the Museum of Natural History- Go to the Museum of the Moving Image
- Go to the Bronx Zoo
- Take a row boat at the Central Park lake
Have a picnic at Wave Hill Estate, in the BronxGo to a Burlesque showGo to at least one Broadway musicalWatch at least one theatre playGo to the Opera- Have the Black Label Burger at Minetta Tavern
- Watch a Drag Queen performance
Minigolf at Governor's Island- Go to at least one Summerstage concert
- Go to a poetry reading
- Perform a scene from Casablanca for Movieoke
- Visit every NYC Neighborhood
BikeGo to the World Science Festival Street Fair- Watch a movie at every indie movie theatre (Maysles, Angelika,
Sunshine,IFC Center, BAM Rose,Film Forum, Anthology Film Archives,Zeigfeld) Go to at least one underground indie rock concertRide the Roosevelt Island Tram- Get my driver's license
- Write the first draft of my first feature screenplay
Watch a film outdoors at The PiersWatch a film outdoors at The IntrepidWatch a film outdoors at Bryant Park- Watch all the DVDs in my Criterion Collection
- Read at least one of my film textbooks
Finish an arts and crafts project-
Learn how to fish at The Piers - Shoot a short with my Super 8 cam
Go to the NY Public Library at Bryant Park
If you have any suggestions to add to the list, feel free to comment!
"Every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. And, the atoms in your left hand probably came from a different star than your right hand. It really is the most poetic thing I know about physics: You are all stardust.
You couldn’t be here if stars hadn’t exploded, because the elements - the carbon, nitrogen, oxygen, iron, all the things that matter for evolution and for life - weren’t created at the beginning of time. They were created in the nuclear furnaces of stars, and the only way for them to get into your body is if those stars were kind enough to explode.
So, forget Jesus. The stars died so that you could be here today."
- Laurence Knauss
“Fuck. What are we doing here?”, she said, staring at her white Oxfords. She was scared to look up at the reason why: Him, with those irresistible, curious eyes behind his thick plastic frames.
He took a gulp and tried once again to keep it cool. “What do you mean?”
“Who needs to edit on a Friday night, when the weather is perfectly nice outside, when we don’t have a deadline…” She glanced at him, mustering all her courage to speak truthfully. “… And when we both have someone to go back to”.
“Who needs to edit on a Friday night, when the weather is perfectly nice outside, when we don’t have a deadline…” She glanced at him, mustering all her courage to speak truthfully. “… And when we both have someone to go back to”.
She knew by his eyes that he understood her. How much longer would it take for them to realize what they were doing? The time was now, before it was too late. They stared at each other, ashamed and longing.
“It’s not like that… At least not anymore. I’ve… always wanted this, but it’s just never been the right time”, he managed to mumble out.
“I know it’s not the right time, but I’m also sure of something else: this… thing we have… You know how I hate static shocks? That’s what you are to me. Just like them, you’re unpredictable, powerful, inevitable: appealing and repelling at the same time. You are like electricity, and in just one touch, you have the power to break me”.
“I know it’s not the right time, but I’m also sure of something else: this… thing we have… You know how I hate static shocks? That’s what you are to me. Just like them, you’re unpredictable, powerful, inevitable: appealing and repelling at the same time. You are like electricity, and in just one touch, you have the power to break me”.
My coworker Michael said he would tattoo me with Sharpies but didn't. While looking for potential designs for my washable tattoo I thought of a Koi fish... And I drew one myself. Here's the little girl.
And, automatically, when he's singing me to sleep, you come up again. And so do the tears...
But why?
What do I mourn with these tears?
Is it really you that I miss?
In this cold night in the city of my dreams I find myself missing the solitude you made me feel.
In that darkness I found the company of your illusion, and of a not so sane me.
A few years later, a few screws tightened,And a voice that's not even your own
Is capable to take me back to that room, illuminated by a single, crimson bulb,
Where the music blasted as I crawled to bed,
You mirage looking over me...
As it still does when Ben Gibbard sings.
"Why hey there, Mister", she said, arching her back seductively as she noticed me.
"Wow. You're certainly... changed", I said, failing to sound unimpressed.
"Yeah. Have to blend inside this crowd, otherwise I'd be eaten alive", she replied, dropping the act and practicing her favorite hobby: bothering me.
"If you just gave them a chance..."
"...I would like 'em even less", she quickly snaps back.
"You know, you really have a problem with being too judgmental", I say, as a very real joke.
"Aha, I do?", she answers, with a daring smile.
"You missed 4 complete seasons of The O.C.!"
"Low blow! We agreed we were never bringing that up!"
"And now you're addicted!"
"Stop it already!", she pleads, with a laugh.
She could never end things on a high note, so she just blurted it out.
"It won't ever be like this again. I mean, you and me".
"There you go again..."
"I'm sorry, I just... It just never seems to be a right time to discuss this"
"Is there anything to discuss, really?", I ask, defiant, suddenly losing my cool.
She keeps quiet, wisely.
Neither of us moves nor says anything, allowing the issue to be brought to mind again. After analyzing the elaborate excuses we'd practiced so many times before, we agree it's not time yet to discuss them. Maybe our time just expired long ago.
"Um... Sorry, I..."
"No, I'm... I'm sorry; I shouldn't have brought it up".
Another one of our infamous silences fills up the space left from the absence of words. It's like a three course menu: Entree, the silence. Main Course, Uncomfortability. Dessert, Rapid flee. Seconds pass and we're already neck up into the main course. One minute and it was time for dessert.
"Hey, um, listen, I've got to..."
"Oh, yeah, me too, the guys are waiting for me..."
"Ok then, it was, um, nice to see you again"
"Yeah, same here".
And we both flee.
And we both feel a cold stab to our insides, a firm grip to our stomachs.
And we both feel lonely.
Like many other times before, I got inside the enormous metal worm; with a loosely defined route. Several eating stops later, these eyes are caught up inside the worm, just like me. Inside our entrapment, our eyes found each other. We carefully studied one another from the distance, making sure our memory would hold on to even the smallest details, since we both knew from the beginning all we had was this moment.
The Worm continued to make its occasional feeding stops, and even though more people got caught in it, these two pairs of eyes could see nothing but each other. Longing so badly to have the guts to materialize the stares into something more timeless. After realizing it would not be done, we both decided to make the best of these 15 minutes.
Up, down, to the side. To your hair, to your coat, to your leopard printed Vans. To my sketchbook, to my earrings, to my shy smile. Getting closer, yes, but always making it seem casual. Make a staring contest, who can watch longer without looking down. You win, I was too much of a coward to keep it up. Your eyes, once again your eyes; dark and daring.
It's about time already, our chance is over. We get another glance, a regretful one. This is the last chance. The canned voice announces the opening of the Worm's jaws, and you walk out, free. I lower my eyes, still regretting, still knowing I have a chance, feeling even more regretful. The doors close, it's over. I try to catch a last glance, the last time I see before this is nothing but information stored in this not quite reliable disk. There they are, the eyes, the eyes of my perdition, right behind the glass. Waiting for their last glance, waiting for my eyes. More of a goodbye, the last stare is an apology. The Worm moves, and while our eyes try to still hold on to each other, they grow more and more distant.
Finally, the eyes disappear. Perhaps momentarily, most likely forever.
The true beauty of it all it's that this modern, subterranean love, lasted about 15 minutes. 900 seconds. And these young, careless hearts need even less to fall in love.
Yes, I do love secret blogs. But this one does have a meaning besides spilling all these things inside. First, recording this incredible experience: studying in the city of my wildest dreams; and second, regaining the habit of writing, specially in English.
So, hold my hand, darling. We're jumping in.
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